She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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