the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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