U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
