my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
