Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm at about main and main street
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize