so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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