I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
soo... how was my night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
