She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He better not be in your backpack
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
