No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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