No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
