So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
