Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
