How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
