I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
