please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
