that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
40s are totally the cure
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
