I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we made out on top of his cat.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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