i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
