jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
