Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
