i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
