The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
