Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
