problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
