so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
