Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
