Duck Duck Cougar?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
