if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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