I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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