ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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