Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
