so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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