Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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