I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
