I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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