Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
