conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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