Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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