I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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