swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
