it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
