Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
