I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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