bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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