But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
