It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
worst night to have a conscience
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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