i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
