would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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