But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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