He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
