Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
