hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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