She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
